There are 2 kinds of Cobras in my life right now

This is a real email exchange.  I just change the names of the places I’ve worked to protect them.

********************************

From: Me

To: Hubby

Sent: Recently

Subject: HEALTH INSURANCE

so this is what i was told:

1 – current hospital covers health insurance for 30-days after your termination date.  (fat chance if you think i believe this since they don’t cover it for Family Leave and SCREW IT UP WHEN THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO COVER IT DURING LEAVE FOR RESIDENTS…so excuse my skepticism! (fuck, that’s a hard word to spell.))

2 – they send out a packet in the mail for cobra.

3 – cobra is retro-active to the date of your last health insurance coverage.  you have 30 days to sign-up.  (or possibly 90)

4 – she didn’t know the cost but did agree with me that i likely won’t need it. (she didn’t know about the family leave screw up though.)  (“she” is a lady in the graduate medical education office, not my usual contact there.)

so this is what i think:

a – if current hospital does indeed cover us for 30 days after my last day, wahoo, we don’t need cobra.

b – if current hospital blows even more than they are are know to blow, they don’t cover it for 30 days.

c – cobra crap comes in the mail.  if a, we keep it until we definitely have insurance in NC and then throw it away.

d – i remember “risking it” when i left former hospital for current hospital.  we weren’t covered for 30 days because current hospital’s insurance doesn’t start until you have worked there 31 days.  we didn’t have Doodle but i was pregnant.  we could have always sign up for cobra if something bad happened in that time because we had 90 days (from former hospital) to sign up for it and it would be retro-active to the last day of insurance.  we saved $1200 “risking” it when we weren’t really “risking” anything because we could always sign up and retro-action everything…and it’s legal and we save money.

e – if b, then i think we should do d and then c.

f – if you understand e, you complete me.

g – if you don’t understand e, i’m crazy.

h – just because you understand e, doesn’t mean i’m not crazy.

i – the coral snake is the “American cobra.”  it is a venomous snake.  it is native to NC (but not NJ or PA).  cobras are neurotoxin snakes.  meaning if they bite you, your diaphragm could stop working and you die.  there is an antivemon.  however in the US, there isn’t a manufacturer anymore so the supply is running very low and most of its is expired.  thank god for ventilators because eventually the venom wears off…but that takes days-weeks.

j – yes, i’m moving you to a state that has more varieties of venomous snakes than the one we currently live in AND i’m excited about that!

********************************

His response:

From: Hubby

To: Me

Sent: Recently

Subject: RE: HEALTH INSURANCE

I love you.

********************************

No, Hubby, I love you.

– Hissssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

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1 Comment »

  1. And you quesitons why I call you Jim and Pam? You’re silly.

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